It has been a long while since I have written last. I have been doing life and it has been very BUSY. Sometimes I am not sure how to do it all. This has been my life for the last couple of weeks. I have been feeling overwhelmed and very incapable. Yesterday was a great example.
From the moment I woke up yesterday I was moving. I had an infant who wanted to nurse, be fed "real food" 3-4 times that day, be held when not sleeping and slept less than usual. While at the same time, the 2 and 4 year old wanted to do their "school" time with me as the two 4th graders needed my guidance with their lessons and the 9th grader required my focus for her dictation. Oh- did I mention that I still had to make lunch, clean the house and dinner was in only 5 hours? I really don't know how others do it and remain sane with educated children that actually graduate from high school.
My first thought was to run away but, I knew that no matter where I ran to - they would find me (they always do). So, what did I do? I would love to say that I prayed, got super Holy and was able to juggle it all with a smile on my face and a spring of joy in my step. Reality? I cried. I left the room and I cried. I did pray while I cried however, which helped me to return to the room and ask the kids to pray for me because I was having a hard day. The major progress for me was that I did not "loose" it running yelling and screaming from the room. You laugh but, shamefully, I have done that on more than one occasion.
With 7 children at home, 4 of them in school and the others wanting desperately to do school too, I am at a loss at times on how to make it all work. Jesus does remind me moment by moment that I can't but He can. And that is all well and good but, I really want to handle this better. I would like to take all this in stride. I would like to have the confidence that all my children will excel in their studies and that they will be able to do more than graduate just knowing their three Rs. I would like to believe my Savior when He tells me that He will bless my obedience and that He will make all things work in His favor. During weeks like these, it is more difficult to rest in His promises.
As the old saying goes, "The proof is in the pudding". As time goes by and my children grow and mature, that is when I will see the fruit from these crazy weeks. These crazy weeks may go on and become crazy years but as long as I don't go crazy; as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus, everything will be blessed. I (and my children) will survive. More than survive- we will thrive! And I will someday juggle it all (well parts of it) with a smile on my face and a spring of joy in my step!